Having Children Is Selfish

Recently, I saw a headline (which was total click-bait) that read: "7 Reasons Why Being Child-free Isn't Selfish." Naturally, I clicked and followed the link which lead to a reasonable article about not having children. It was actually a pretty decent read, though it lacked substance.

Hey, I get'cha. I don't think we are born saying to ourselves, when we finally learn how to say to ourselves, "I'm gonna have kids when I start ovulating."

It's okay if you don't want kids. In fact, if you aren't completely sold on the idea of having children, do yourself a favor and keep that thing wrapped. Because, sex.

However, if you do decide to have kids, there are things you have to be prepared for:

1. Decide first, I mean really decide, that you want to have children. It has to be a choice. It has to be an expectation. You have to firmly and truthfully want to raise kids.

2. Don't back down/ run away/ change your identity/ become a bartender in Tahiti. Look, once you've devoted yourself, you have to take the plunge. More than just yourself will depend on you.

3. Be prepared to love more than you have ever loved before. Having a kid is like turning the ignition on that project car in the garage and hearing it roar to life. It's like that first spark when you're building your own fire. It's beating your fastest time  in the 500 meter dash. You have to be prepared to accept the fact that you've just leaped over a major hurdle. The race isn't over yet.

4. Be prepared for father/motherhood. Your kid will wake you up every 2 hours. You will feed him or her for 45 minutes. You will not fall back asleep until it's time to feed again. This is certainly not for the faint of heart. This stuff makes the Spartans piss their tunics. If you're not on time, your kid will let you know, and you'll start to fall down that slippery slope of guilt, thinking that you will never be able to live up to the image of perfection your kid has of you. So, take turns with your significant other. That's not to say that while you're waiting for your turn to take care of the little one you're going to get some rest, because, in all actuality, you're more than likely to be just as unsettled as your kiddo. It's okay. You're human, which means that you have within you generations of training.

I tell you this to help you understand that having a kid is more than just waiting for a little person to pop out of a woman's vagina. It takes preparation. It takes battle-readiness level alertness. It takes a sense of duty.

If you can't, don't.

If you can, it can be one of the most rewarding moments of your life. Nothing compares to the first smile, like THE FIRST SMILE, of your kid, aimed directly at you and no one else. Nothing else compares to the beauty of the fingers and toes and belly buttons.

So yeah, it's selfish, I guess, to want to take care of a little one. It's a flaw I'm willing to admit.